The Bear Facts of Life

The woods planned a surprise for me as I worked at my desk today. A black bear sauntered past our deck in broad daylight. The wonders and beauty of nature right out my window scared the freaking daylights out of me. Earlier, I thought about picking ripe choke cherries for jelly. Bears like choke cherries. I don't like choke cherry jelly anymore.

The neighbor's dogs have sent up a holy racket most of the day so you know darn good and well the bear skulks just around the corner of the shed as I write this. Later, I had to check the car for my cell phone so I skedaddled out the back and bolted the garage door like a kid on a moonless night right after watching The Exorcist.

The unvarnished truth started to filter through my bear induced sweat or what I like to call the bear facts of life. I have decided our existence is just too short to stress over little things because at any moment I could be the next thing a bear licks off his chops. So I savored lunch knowing what it's like when you just don't give a reeking bear crap about setting a good example for your kid anymore. And no I didn't get a bleeping picture of the bear. I was too busy finding clean underwear.